Christmas is a time of year when we see images of peace and happiness from most media sources. Images of happy families, thoughtful gifts, reunited friends and smiling faces are common but is it the true picture of Christmas? It may be but it may also not be the true picture of happiness. Christmas can typically be one of the most stressful times of the year. The expense of buying gifts, the pressure of last minute shopping and the heightened expectations of family gatherings can all combine to undermine our best intentions. Here are some tips that hopefully will ensure that you Christmas is relaxing, enjoyable and most of all memorable for all the right reasons.

Budgeting for Christmas
Christmas can be a time when we think ‘Ah well Christmas comes just once a year’ and as a result we often splash out on expensive gifts that we really cannot afford. Try to avoid the January credit card nightmares by budgeting in advance how much you have to spend. This should include money for gifts, socialising, travel, food and clothes. Once you know what you have to spend, making the decision about whether or not to buy that last minute Christmas jumper or sparkly dress is made easier. When developing your Christmas budget consider the following:

• Money required for January bills
  
• Decide in advance what you want to buy.
  
• Pay for your gift in cash or by laser card if possible as it avoids you spending money you just don’t have

Christmas shopping
To avoid the stress and mayhem of Christmas shopping consider the following tips:

• Make a list of the people you need to buy present for and items they might like.
  
• If you have a large circle of friend, suggest doing a Kris Kringle or Secret Santa where everyone buys one gift.
  
• Plan your shopping trips when the shops are relatively quiet. Weekday mornings are generally better than Saturday afternoons.
  
• Consider buying your gifts online. Many companies will gift wrap your items and send them directly to your friends house.

Christmas socialising
Christmas is a time when everyone wants to celebrate and meet up with friends and family that are home for Christmas. It is often a time when you find yourself drinking a lot of alcohol and being encouraged to drink a lot of alcohol. It is possible to have a good night out without drinking loads of alcohol. See the tips below and how to avoid drinking too much on a night out:

• Know the point where you start to lose control, or behave differently because of alcohol.  Your main target should be not to have more than this.
  
• Home measures tend to be a lot larger than pub ones.  If you are offered a drink when visiting someone, try a bottle or a can instead of a short.  It is easier to watch what you are having.  
  
• Do not drink alcohol before you go out.
  
• Have a good meal before starting to drink alcohol
  
• Buy smaller drinks – have a glass instead of a pint, a single instead of a double.
  
• Wait a while before getting another drink, spend this time chatting or dancing with your friends.
  
• Have a glass of water or try some alcohol free beers, lagers or cocktails in between alcoholic drinks.
  
• Try not to get into rounds, they are expensive and they can limit your control over your night i.e. when to go home, who you spent a lot of the night with and how fast you drink.
  
• Don’t play drinking games.

Christmas Day
If you are home for Christmas or staying with a big group of friends tensions can run high as we often get a degree of cabin fever on Christmas. It is only one say of the year but if people are beginning to annoy you know how to deal with it. Have a look at the tips below to help you have a lovely Christmas day

• Offer to help with the preparing of the Christmas dinner, if you really are not comfortable in the kitchen, offer to prepare the table and set the tableware for the meal.
  
• Offer to help with the washing up. Even if its just loading the dishwasher, this considerate act will show that you want to help and you appreciate what others have done to prepare the Christmas dinner.
  
• Don’t expect miracles. If you and family members bicker all year long, its likely you’ll bicker on Christmas day. Don’t be setting too unrealistic goals and targets that are unlikely to be achieved.
  
• Avoid know topics of conflict. For example, if politics is a known topic of conflict in the house try to avoid it. If someone brings it up in conversation, use distraction tactics to move the conversation on to a different topic.
  
• Use relaxation techniques such as deep breathing or focusing on your breath to cope with anxiety or tension. Go to the De stress techniques fact sheet and the relaxation techniques fact sheet for more information
  
• Remember Christmas is also a time for you to get some rest and relaxation. If tensions within the family are getting to you or you would just like to have a bit of time for yourself, plan to schedule at least an hour a day for yourself and use this time to watch a DVD, go for a run, read a book or do whatever you find distresses you.

New Years Resolutions
New Years Eve is another night that is build up as a huge event. For people who have experience e a difficult year it can be a good marker of past difficulties and a time for new beginnings. For other, it’s a time of reflection, when we look after over the past year and evaluate how we got on. We may consider the resolutions we made this time last year and realise that we haven’t achieved exactly what we though we would. Also remember hindsight has 20/20 vision. Goals may not have been achieved by various reasons. We may not have set realistic goals, (to get more information on setting goals go to the Goal Setting fact sheet), the circumstances on which we set those goals may have changed significantly. We may however, still feel a certain amount of disappointment in ourselves. But disappointment is a fact of life. It is going to happen. Disappointment is a factor of two things. Your expectation and perceptions of an event and the actual resolution of that event. One of the key points about disappointment is that it is based on comparative rather than objective, results. Our disappointment is not based on what happened, so much as how what happened compares to what could have happened. For example, winning ten thousand euros can either be a positive event or a disappointment, depending on what the maximum prize amount was. If the grand prize was ten thousand euro, you would be ecstatic. If it was five million, you might well be somewhat pleased at winning something but maybe disappointed not to have won more. Therefore, the key to dealing effectively with disappointment lies less in controlling the events as it does with managing your expectations. This is not to say you should go around with a pessimistic outlook in the hopes of avoiding disappointment. Managing expectation is more about being realistic about what is likely to happen, being proactive about risk reduction and viewing the end results on their own merits, rather than in comparison to random possibilities. In order to avoid disappointment consider the following tips:

Set your sights realistically

Set effective goals. To learn how to do this read the fact sheet on goal setting.

Proactively reduce risk: Once you know what you want, and you have set your goals you can take steps to reduce the risks associated with that goal. Reducing risk can take a three step approach. Firstly, gather enough information to adequately understand the various risks inherent with the goal. Secondly, assess the likelihood of each risk occurring and decide which risks you can address. Thirdly, determine what, if anything can be done to eliminate or minimise each risk that you have chosen to address and make a plan of action for doing so.

View results objectively and subjectively, rather than comparatively. When the time frame has lapsed, look at the outcome of your goals on their own merits rather than comparing them to what could have, but didn’t happen. You might have not won five million euros but you if you won ten thousand euro, then that’s still a good outcome. Focusing on what you ‘lost’ is pointless. For one thing you cannot loose what you never had. For another thing fretting over it not only won’t make it happen, but it will ruin any sense of achievement you deserve from what you did accomplish. Enjoy your achievements. Assess what you did not achieve by looking at the original goals you set realistically and then move on. Set new goals and concentrate on them for the coming year.