A suicidal person may not ask for help, but that doesn't mean that help is not wanted. Most people who complete suicide don't want to die - they just want to stop hurting. Suicide prevention starts with recognizing the warning signs and taking them seriously.
If you think a friend or family member is considering suicide, you might be afraid to bring up the subject. But talking openly about suicidal thoughts and feelings can save a life. Speak up if you are concerned and seek professional help immediately! Through understanding, reassurance, and support, you can help your loved one overcome thoughts of suicide.

Understanding and preventing suicide

The World Health Organization estimates that approximately 1 million people die each year from suicide. What drives so many individuals to take their own lives? To those not in the grips of suicidal depression and despair, it is difficult to understand. But a person considering suicidal may be in so much pain that he or she can see no other option.

Suicide is a desperate attempt to escape suffering that has become unbearable. Blinded by feelings of self-loathing, hopelessness, and isolation, a suicidal person may not be able to see any other option available to them for relief except through death. But despite their desire for the pain to stop, most suicidal people are deeply conflicted about ending their own lives. They may wish there was an alternative to suicide, but they just can't see one.

Because of their ambivalence about dying, individuals who are contemplating suicidal usually give warning signs or signals of their intentions. It is sometimes very difficult to recognise these warning signs and sometime the person at risk of suicide tried to hide these signs from us. However it is good to know these warning signs in order to better improve the likelihood of picking up on them.

Warning signs of suicide

Suicide prevention begins with an awareness of the warning signs of suicidal thoughts and feelings. Major warning signs for suicide include talking about killing or harming oneself, talking or writing a lot about death or dying, and seeking out things that could be used in a suicide attempt, such as weapons and drugs.

Take any suicidal talk or behavior seriously. It is not just a warning sign that the person is thinking about suicide — it's a request for help.

A more subtle but equally dangerous warning sign of suicide is hopelessness. Studies have found that hopelessness is a strong predictor of suicide. People who feel hopeless may talk about "unbearable" feelings, predict a bleak future, and state that they have nothing to look forward to.

Other warning signs that point to a suicidal mind frame include dramatic mood swings or sudden personality changes, such as going from outgoing to withdrawn or well-behaved to rebellious. A suicidal person may also lose interest in day-to-day activities, neglect his or her appearance, and show big changes in eating or sleeping habits.

Suicide Warning Signs

Talking about suicide
Any talk about suicide, dying, or self-harm. Includes statements such as "I wish I hadn't never been born," "If I see you again...," "I want out," and "I'd be better off dead."

Seeking out lethal means
Looking for ways to complete suicide. Seeking access to guns, pills, knives, or other objects that could be used in a suicide attempt.

Preoccupation with death
Unusual focus on death, dying, or violence. Writing poems or stories about death.

No hope for the future
Feelings of helplessness, hopelessness, and being trapped ("There's no way out"). Belief that things will never get better or change.

Self-loathing, self-hatred
Feelings of worthlessness, guilt, shame, and self-hatred. Feeling like a burden ("Everyone would be better off without me").

Getting affairs in order
Making out a will. Giving away prized possessions. Making arrangements for family members.

Saying goodbye
Unusual or unexpected visits or calls to family and friends. Saying goodbye to people as if they won't be seen again.

Withdrawing from others
Withdrawing from friends and family. Increasing social isolation. Desire to be left alone.

Self-destructive behavior
Increased alcohol or drug use, reckless driving, unsafe sex. Taking unnecessary risks as if they have a "death wish".

Sudden sense of calm
A sudden sense of calm and happiness after being extremely depressed can mean that the person has made a decision to complete suicide.

What to do if you think someone is thinking of completing suicide?

Talk directly about suicide If you spot the warning signs of suicide in someone you care about, you may wonder if it is a good idea to say anything. What if you’re wrong? What if the person gets angry? Even worse, what if you plant the idea in your friend or family member’s head? In such situations, it's natural to feel uncomfortable or afraid. But anyone who talks about suicide or shows other warning signs needs immediate help—the sooner the better.

If you're unsure whether someone is suicidal, the best way to find out is to ask. You can't make a person suicidal by showing that you care. In fact, giving the individual the opportunity to express his or her feelings may prevent a suicide attempt. The person may even be relieved that you brought up the issue.

Respond quickly in a crisis: If a friend or family member tells you that he or she is thinking about death or suicide, it is important to evaluate the immediate danger the person is in.

The following questions can help you assess the immediate risk for suicide:

• Do you have a suicide plan?
  
• Do you intend to commit suicide?
  
• Do you have access to means of suicide (e.g. pills, gun, etc.)?
  
• Do you know when you would do it?
  

If a suicide attempt seems imminent, call the emergency services on 999, or take the person to an accident and emergency room. Do not, under any circumstances, leave a person contemplating suicide alone.

It is also important to remove guns, drugs, knives, and other potentially lethal objects from the vicinity.

Offer help and support: One way of helping someone who is thinking of suicide is by offering an empathetic, listening ear. Let your loved one know that he or she is not alone and that you care. Do not take responsibility, however, for making your loved one well as this is beyond your control. You can offer support, but you cannot get better for a suicidal person.

As you're helping a suicidal person, don't forget to take care of yourself. Find someone that you trust—a friend, family member, clergyman, or counselor—to talk to about your feelings and get support of your own.

Helping a suicidal person:

• Listen without judgment: Let a suicidal person express his or her feelings and accept those feelings without judging or discounting them. Don't act shocked, lecture on the value of life, or say that suicide is wrong.
  
• Offer hope: Reassure the person that help is available and that the suicidal feelings are temporary. Don't dismiss the pain he or she feels, but talk about the alternatives to suicide and let the person know that his or her life is important to you.
  
• Do not promise confidentiality: Refuse to be sworn to secrecy. A life is at stake and you may need to speak to a mental health professional in order to keep the suicidal person safe. If you promise to keep your discussions secret, you may have to break your word. Dealing with this situation on your own can also be too much for you, you will need the help of other. You can offer discretion but never offer confidentiality when dealing with suicide.
  
• Get professional help: Do everything in your power to get a suicidal person the help he or she needs. Call a helpline for advice. Encourage the person to see a mental health professional or take them to a doctor's appointment.
  
• Make a safeplan for the future: Help the person develop a safe plan, a set of steps he or she promises to follow during a suicidal crisis. It should include contact numbers for the person's doctor or mental health professional, as well as friends and family members who will help in an emergency.

The above steps may be very difficult to complete with a friend or family member. However, they can be a huge support to the person at risk of suicide. To make the above tasks easier, consider taking a suicide first aid course either ASIST or SafeTalk. For more information click here

Common risk factors for Suicide include:

• Mental illness
  
• Alcoholism or drug abuse
  
• Previous suicide attempts
  
• Family history of suicide
  
• Terminal illness or chronic pain
  
• Recent loss or stressful life event
  
• Social isolation and loneliness
  
• History of trauma or abuse
  
• Impulsivity
  
• Precipitating event e.g. loss of a loved one or change of situation.
  

Some common risk factors for suicide are listed above but suicide is an individual act and it is difficult to predict who may have thoughts of suicide. Suicide can happen to anyone. In order to support your friend, get familiar with the warning signs above. Alternatively consider attending a suicide first aid course. For more information click here

For information on where to go for help visit the getting help section or use the HeadsUp Text service for a list of National Helpline numbers. Text HeadsUp to 50424